Do I have your attention? What do you think about older women being passionate and sexy?
In a culture where sexually explicit images are everywhere, older sexuality is invisible.
Why?
As an older woman and a sexual being, how does this make you feel?
As a younger woman and a sexual being, how does this make you feel about your future?
I know for me, my expression of sexuality feels ageless. If anything, my sensual experiences feel richer now than ever, but sensual feelings transport me to a place that is ageless, and paradoxically, a place that is less about my body and much more about my energy and my love.
Love, passion, ecstasy, desire, surrender … these feelings are ageless.
But here’s the thing – no lie – our bodies DO change. We’re getting bigger and softer and crinklier, most of us, to one degree or another. And sure, this takes us just a few steps farther away from our society’s ridiculously narrow beauty standards. For some of us, this matters a lot, and is a painful struggle. For others of us, we may finally discover that we just.don’t.care.anymore. Maybe you’re somewhere in between.
This is one more wonderful opportunity to decide if we are going to let negative feelings about our appearance affect how much pleasure we allow ourselves to have. We’ve come this far without allowing the relentless waves of unrealistic, pornified images of sexuality drag us down. So let’s forge ahead, sisters!
So our appearance changes. Our experiences within our bodies change too, and the ways they change are incredibly diverse. This is one of the most diverse aspects of the menopausal experience. No two women are alike in their experience of midlife sexuality. Sexual response and desire are incredibly complex! Really awe inspiring, actually, the combination of hormonal, psychological, and health factors that create your unique experience of sexuality at this stage of life.
The one common thread I see in women at midlife is a fierce owning of our sexual autonomy, sometimes for the first time in our lives. For the first time, many of us are saying “My body is mine, my pleasure is mine, my sexual experience is mine to define.” This means opening new doors, sometimes healing old wounds. It can be a time of adventure, liberation, exploration, sadness, healing, confusion, change.
So yes, we are “still” sexual beings – we will be all our lives. Our reality may not be represented in the media, but we’re used to that, aren’t we? Maybe you prefer to keep your sensual side private – but if you hide it, I hope it’s because that’s what feels soul-right to you, and not because you’re ashamed.
What do you think? Older and younger sisters I am so curious to hear your voices on this topic!
Love,
Bronwyn
